How to drive your parental unit to extreme insanity:inspired by...me!

1.Have more articles of clothing in your closet than some countries possess, yet still complain you have nothing to wear.

2.Declare that the half of a granola bar that you ate for breakfast is all you need to satiate your hunger for an entire day.

3.Put a "belongs to Hanna" post-it note on all scrumptious food in the fridge, and never eat any of it.

4.Take the book your mom is reading and hide it from her so you can finish it and find out the ending before she does.

5."Borrow" the parental unit credit card and then "accidently" switch it with your debit card with $12.14 on it.

6.Explain that you have heaps upon loads of homework to do when there are dishes to be done, rooms to be cleaned and carpets to be vaccuumed, and then get on your laptop to play solitaire.

7.Take your index finger and slowly in a circular pattern trace around the upraised patch of skin on your dad's back that causes him to have a severe itch and for him to loudly command, "scratch!" Do nothing of the sort, just smile a devilish smile and simply skip away.

8.Loudly sing and dance along with the exceedingly rocky and worldly song on the car commercial, and when given a disaprooving frown, tell them you also know all five verses and the alternate chorus.

9.Let your dad know that he must take you on a trip two hours away, ten minutes before he must make the long trek in the middle of a freak snowstorm.

10.Let your dog in your mom's room in the morning so the dog can lick the newly applied lotion off her legs, take everything that was in the trash can, out of the trash can, not to mention take a pair of nylons or a bra for a souvenier.

Cetacean Obsession

In the past, I have been known to become "passionate" about things I like. I would talk about the idea or thing constantly, spend the majority of my day thinking about it and my nights dreaming of it. I used to not be able to explain my obsessiveness, but now I know. It's genetic. My dad is a relatively calm person and he does not express his emotions very often. However, about a year ago, when he returned from a cruise of Alaska, my dad was extremely excited to introduce us to his new friend, Wally. Wally is the name my father had given to his whale. On the cruise my parents went whale watching and my dad happened to catch a photograph of "Wally" right when he was jumping into the air. Thus, an obsession is born. Wally was shown to every relative, church member, friend, student, and several complete strangers. Even a year later, Wally has a place of honor in our household, and is frequently coddled, adored, and fondly gazed upon by my dad.

How to drive your family to near insanity: inspired by the younger sister

1.Make loud, irritating gurgling sounds (my sister has perfected this)

2.Eat a whole can of pringles in one sitting, with absolutely no remorse

3.Act exteremely angry when disturbed from slumber at TWELVE IN THE AFTERNOON

4.Leave articles of clothing in every room of the house for others to put away

5.Redistribute same articles of clothes right after they have been put away by others

6.Create uncomfortable social situations by belching as loud as possible

7.Give a dramatic presentation of the events of each day to every family member...at least twice

8.Sleep in your sister's bed when she isn't home, just because you can

9.Borrow all of your sister's cherished possessions with no intention to return them

10.Eat the last ice cream bar...then put the box back in the freezer


In all seriousness, my little sister does have some endearing qualities...so when I can think of them I'll let you know

The buzz on Blossom

On April nineteenth of the year two-thousand and eight, the whole lifestlye of our family changed. I got a dog. Our first family pet is a small ball of fur called a schnoodle, a cross between schnauzer and poodle. She chews on my beautiful shoes, chases everything that moves, and will eat pretty much anything she can fit in her tiny mouth, but she has already become part of the family.